My.. how things have changed!!I remember feeling like life was just a mess and that bad things were turning from bad to worse every day.. holding on to hope that things would get better but hated the suspense of when that would be.
After all I've been through, I feel like a battler. Sure I'm upset that my mum passed away and that I was going through relationship troubles, writing off my car, struggling to find work, living on two minute noodles, constantly fighting with my brother and barely being in contact with my Dad.. but its what has made me today.
I must say that I am living a very happy life at the moment. I am working at a stable and enjoyable job, have a great boyfriend, have a great relationship with my brother (now that we are living in our own houses, we don't fight at all!). The only thing that isn't great is my relationship with my father - he stills shows little interest in knowing me but I can't expect everything to be peachy perfect!
There were times where I just wanted to pull the plug on my life, but I kept telling myself to hold on and I took great comfort to comments on my journal entries.. and holding on is exactly what I did and in the last few months - I am enjoying a life that I thought might never come! I'm finally reaping the benefits!
Most of the time I just wanted to stay at home and play computer games. I would barely spend any time with my friends and didn't really have anyone special in my life.. I wouldn't really let anyone in to it. I developed Social Anxiety Disorder which made me physically sick at the thought of social situations. Now all I want to do is catch up with friends and family, spend a lot of time with the bf and live my life to its absolute fullest. I seem to appreciate life a lot more than I used to.
I used to write in my DA journal almost every week and its amazing to read how miserable and upset I was at times.. and how I saw death as a comfort.. and its even more amazing how a lot of you that watched me (and still watch me!) read them and responded with such kind words - I think I may have taken that for granted so thank you.
Thanks so much ^^ You guys played a big part in me having the strength of to keep it all together.
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< primus>I just can't get enough sausage in my mouth, no
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is it ok for you if I use a picture of yours in my youtube video?
sorry that I ask so late.
here is the vid: [link]
I used this: [link] picture.
I posted a link to your deviantART account..so you can be sure that I don't try to own your work.
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< primus>I just can't get enough sausage in my mouth, no
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